What I want in a boyfriend

List

 

  1. Someone funny
  2. He is nice to me.
  3. Not cheap
  4. I prefer someone my own age. I will date an older guy but must be in shape.
  5. He can have a little stomach but not too much.
  6. I don’t want to date an old guy.
  7. I can call him if I need to talk .
  8. Adore me – Post pics of my on his social media
  9. Loves sex
  10. Buys me gifts now and then
  11. A gentleman – open doors
  12. Height 5’8-6′ Maybe taller
  13. Can’t be mentally off
  14. He should be kind to others.

Bad Week & new revelations

I had a bad week. I am still sad about it.

I had a rough week. I have to find a healthy way to deal with my emotions.

 

I noticed a few things after I was either angry or hurt that day.

 

  1. I would talk to a friend and get too sensitive.
  2. Guys or friends – I would send a message , no response, or the response isn’t much. I tend to take it personally . One guy was busy with work . The person could be busy with work or not available. I would usually do this to make me feel better.
  3. Overreact in some way.
  4. Eat sweets or contact James to make me feel better. Do not contact James. It’s a quick fix. 

I decided to do a plan to avoid coping in an unhealthy way and not taking things personal.

 

  1. On that day , I only talk to my mom or deal with school. I live with her. Don’t talk to anyone that day.
  2. If I am sad later, just stop. HALT
  3. Hungry

Angry

Lonely ( or hurt)

Tired ( under pressure)

Don’t do anything just think or think about it later if I am feeling overwhelmed. Ask myself why I want to contact Sam or whoever ? Will it bother me if I get no response or a quick response? Or am I just sad and need to vent? Unless he is your best friend or boyfriend or if he asks you, don’t tell them ! If it’s really personal, I wouldn’t tell someone I wasn’t close with . When I usually contact a guy when I am sad, I wouldn’t normally contact that person.

 

Don’t take this personal ! Also, if someone thinks I am cute don’t ask a bunch of times! He obviously thinks I am cute!

Dating Update

It’s been a month since I spoke with Todd. I miss him terribly . I am not sure if he is going through something. Sam still hasn’t contacted me either in almost four weeks. I do have good news. I am still talking to Alan. He might move here but is very stressed about the move.

Dating update

Sam hasn’t contacted me in two weeks. Todd also hasn’t communicated with me either. I don’t know what happened in both cases. It doesn’t matter. Both guys aren’t into me.   I deleted both numbers and decided to move on .

I am going to give my own guide to online dating.

 

  1. First date- Don’t get there before him. You should make him wait.
  2. If he doesn’t ask you out within a certain time on the website, move on. Don’t go back and forth . It’s annoying and wasting time.
  3. You will know if he is interested on a date. He will either ask you out for another date on your date or contact you after to set up one. If none of these things happen , he isn’t interested in seeing you after.
  4. Sometimes the dates don’t work out. Move on to the next!
  5. Don’t prolong the date- that is the guy’s job.
  6. Don’t drink too much- You might throw up . That is not a good look.
  7. Meet him there. If you are planning to drink, do not drive. Uber or take a taxi.   Get a ride. Get a ride back . Don’t go in his car.
  8. Do not contact after the date ends. Just wait it out!
  9. Date multiple men at once.
  10. You will get weird messages.

My last tip: Don’t get discouraged !   Continue dating . I know sometime it sucks. You meet a guy . Then poof … You don’t hear from . What happened? It is a waste a time to speculate. We will never know. Only person that knows what happened is him . If he comes back, you can decide to move on or go another date. My friend had a friend that was dating a lot. Nothing was happening . She was online for years. I am not sure how she met her fiancé . She clicked with this one guy and now they are engaged. She didn’t have to obsess about whether he will call or text. He just did. Her friend knew there was something about him. Also , do not invest too much in the beginning. Why ? He might not be around. It is better to wait until later to invest more of yourself. Based on my experience, you get hurt or disappointed.

May 

This month just started and feeling sad. I missTodd very much . No contact since Saturday . It has been almost two weeks . I haven’t heard from Sam . What happened ? After our first meeting , he didn’t have a romantic feelings . The next week texted me to ask me again to be his girlfriend. Later told me he wants to get to know me and not yet a couple . Saturday we couldn’t meet . Then nothing.. 

If I don’t hear from him by Saturday , I will assume he is no longer interested in me .

Should you wait to have sex while dating?

It all depends on the person. I can’t have sex unless I am with the person. I noticed I give my heart, my time, and body get very little in return. I get disappointed and hurt. If the guy doesn’t feel the same or disappears , I become sad . It’s the hormones . Women naturally attach after sex. I give you two examples . If you can have sex and deal with whatever happens, you should sleep with him. If you are similar to me, you should wait and see if he is really into you.

 

  1. Todd – I saw him last week. He was an asshole. I had doubts about him before we meet up.   We didn’t do anything . He went off on me . He said sorry for the yelling. Why did he invite me over if nothing was going to happen? He said I was stressed. So what , does that excuse your shitty behavior ? I haven’t heard from him since last Saturday . He doesn’t care about me . That is a fact.
  2. James- I told him how I felt. I wanted to be with him. His response: How can you go from sex to in a relationship? We don’t really know each other and haven’t been in a date in months.   My response: I know that . I am saying if we get to know each other then maybe our status will change. I was sad and crying . He even called me nuts. I am not sure what he was referring to in our texts. I thought I was crazy. I was attached though sex. Dr. Laura said it. Sex makes attachment hormones in women. I even wished him happy birthday . He never wished me a happy birthday. Does he even know when my birthday is?

What is I learned from these interactions with these guys

Not to invest too much into a guy . That means no sex until we are established. I am not going to give more than the guy does until we are in a relationship. I will pull back and be a little distant.   To not contact these guys until they contact me.   I am too important. I know that ! Lastly , to put my needs first . 

Dating Life

Update on my dating life: Sam is back and interested in me. He wanted for us to meet at his area. He had do something later. I wasn’t able to go over there. I didn’t realize how expensive it is to uber there. The price is high due to the demand. I wanted to see him. Next time, I will suggest to meet halfway for both of us.

I would prefer if we met close by.

 

Todd: I have talked about him throughout this blog. Last night wasn’t fun with me. We saw each other . He didn’t touch me or kiss me despite my hints.    He doesn’t care about me and is verbally abusive and strains me emotionally. I want nothing to do with him.

Spring 

My Easter  was great .  I miss Tammy !  No update on my dating life . Todd isn’t doing anything. It’s been too long . It’s not going to happen .